About the same time every year, much of the Western world tells themselves they will become better. We promise to take our partner out on more dates. We pledge to spend more time with our kids. We vow to not work as much (or to work even more).
New Year's Resolutions. For most of us, this is nothing new. Not only because we do this every year, but we do this every week of every year. We are constantly telling ourselves we can and will be better. The New Year is an excuse few of us need, because we're always trying to grow.
But why?
We grow to adapt, or we grow to flourish. We adapt because we have to; seasons change, we change our clothing. We flourish because we want to; spend more time with our children, better relationships with our children. We grow because we have to or we want to.
Often, we set goals we think we should set, not goals we have to (adapt) or we want to (flourish). Get that next promotion. Lose 10 pounds. Watch less football. Spend time outdoors. Depending on who you are, those could be genuine flourishing goals, or completely unenjoyable.
The difficulty, as always, is recognizing what makes you flourish and what doesn't. This requires two tools: a compass and a walking stick. The compass to make sure you're pointed in the right direction. The stick to help you walk it.
The walking stick is making goals achievable and enjoyable through the principles of positive psychology. We outline four goal-setting principles to make your goals work for you in our October 24th, 2011 blog post:
1. Set approach goals and not avoidance goals
2. Set intrinsic and not extrinsic goals
3. Set goals that relate to your personal value system
4. Set goals that are autonomously chosen
In one sentence: Set your own meaningful goals for what to do, not what not to do. By pointing in the right direction and being equipped for the path ahead, goal setting will become what it should be: a joyful engagement with yourself and your surroundings that improves them both.
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